Random Tumblr Themes

unpresentable:

the-beauty-in-breakdown:

unpresentable:

doughnuthunter:

unpresentable:

I’m good at math. U + I = 69

Wait that would mean that I = 59 because U sure are a 10

oh

No. U + I = 145 as the atomic number for Uranium is 92 and the atomic number for I is 53. Cause we got chemistry.

for god’s sake why all these people are so smooth omg

"my baby" i say in regards to someone that is older than me and over half a fuckin foot taller than i am

idkhumor:

owlmylove:

therewerestarsintheireyes:

so this housewife decided to rewrite the harry potter series into christian books so that her kids wont be reading about witchcraft and i just cant eveN BREATHE BC THIS IS SO HYSTERICAL

read it here:

Hogwarts School of Prayer and Miracles

image

fangirlingfromnarnia

the “text me when you get home so i know you’re safe” kind of people are the kind of people i wanna be around

jibblyuniverse:

derpfire:

jibblyuniverse:

frenums:

things that will always sound sarcastic

  • good for you
  • thanks a lot
  • yeah right
  • nice to know
  • wow
  • way to go
  • totally
  • ok buddy

Not if you say ‘man’ at the end

ok buddy man

I might not have thought that last one through

sarahkeilman94:

when i was little i thought food poisoning meant that someone had literally poisoned your food and one time my sister got food poisoning from mccdonalds so i told everyone at school that the drive thru guy tried to kill my sister